The following is an overview of “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz.
Be Impeccable with Your Word
Speak with integrity.
Say only what you mean.
Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others.
Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
Impeccable means “without sin”
and a sin is something you do or believe that goes against yourself.
It means not speaking against yourself, to yourself or to others.
It means not rejecting yourself.
To be impeccable means to take responsibility for yourself, to not participate in “the blame game.”
Regarding the word, the rules of “action-reaction” apply.
What you put out energetically will return to you.
Proper use of the word creates proper use of energy,
putting out love and gratitude perpetuates the same in the universe.
The converse is also true.
Impeccability starts at home.
Be impeccable with yourself and that will reflect in your life and your relationships with others.
This agreement can help change thousands of other agreements,
especially ones that create fear instead of love.
Don't Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you.
What others say and do is a projection of their own dream.
We take things personally when we agree with what others have said.
When we do not agree, the things that others say cannot affect us emotionally.
When we do not care about what others think about us, their words or behavior cannot affect us.
When someone yells at you, gossips about you, harms you or yours, it still is not about you!
Their actions and words are based on what they believe in their personal dream.
Our personal belief system makes us feel safe.
When people have beliefs that are different from our own,
we get scared, defend ourselves, and try to impose our point of view on them.
When someone gets angry with us
it is because our belief system is challenging their belief system and they get scared.
They need to defend their point of view.
Do not become angry, create conflict, and expend energy arguing when you are aware of this.
Practice forgiveness.
Forgiveness is a promise not a feeling.
Forgiveness is a promise not to use the past sin against them . . . or yourself!.
Apologize.
Apologizing doesn't always mean that you are wrong and the other person is right.
Apologizing just means that you value your relationship with them more than your ego.
Don't Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want.
Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama.
With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
When we make assumptions, it is because we believe we know what others are thinking and feeling.
We believe we know their point of view, their dream.
We forget that our beliefs are just our point of view
based on our belief system and our own personal experiences
that have nothing to do with what others think and feel.
We make the assumption that everybody judges us, abuses us, victimizes us, and blames us the way we do ourselves.
As a result we reject ourselves before others have the chance to reject us.
When we think this way, it becomes difficult to be ourselves in the world.
Take action and be clear to others about what you want or do not want;
do not gossip and make assumptions about things others tell you.
Respect other points of view and avoid arguing just to be right.
Respect yourself and be honest with yourself.
Stop expecting the people around you to know what is in your head.
Always Do Your Best
Your best changes from moment to moment;
Your best is different when you are healthy as opposed to sick.
Simply do your best under any circumstance to avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.
Doing your best means enjoying the action without expecting a reward.
The pleasure comes from doing what you like in life and having fun, not from the reward or compensation.
Enjoy the path travelled and the destination will take care of itself.
Living in the moment and releasing the past helps us to do the best we can in the moment.
It allows us to be fully alive right now, enjoying what is present, not worrying about the past or the future.
Have patience with yourself.
Be consistent and persistent with meaningful action.
If you do your best always, transformation will happen as a matter of course.
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